I did learn a new lesson.
Towards the end of my shift, I found myself getting internally mad at the charge nurse. I was getting mad at her for not helping me out more or asking if I needed any help. Usually the other charge nurses come around and ask if you need any help throughout the shift.
When I had some time to sit down and chart, I asked myself why I was getting mad. The answer came to me, I wasn’t mad at the charge nurse. I was mad at myself for not asking for more help. I was expecting the charge nurse to know how busy I was without me saying anything.
Have you ever gotten mad at someone for not helping you? Have you ever gotten mad at the other person for not knowing why you are mad?
What I should have done instead of getting mad was to ask for help. I usually take my lunch break around 3 pm. At that time, I should have told the charge nurse to help with my patients so that I can take a break. I’m sure she would have said yes and I could have eaten. Maybe I wouldn’t have felt so tired had I eaten something.
One of my patient’s even pointed out that my eyes were watering a lot because I was so tired. I had to agree with her.
I can’t get mad at someone for not helping if I didn’t ask for help or let them know what I was going through.
I made it through the shift and couldn’t wait to get home and get to sleep.
The next time I get really busy, I’m going to ask for help and take my lunch break. Yes, I’ll get paid for not taking a lunch break but I would rather have taken it. That money isn’t worth working 12 hours with no lunch break.
I get home and get ready for bed. Then I started to get the signals from the Universe that I was about to see a bug. Every time before I see a bug I get signals. Or if there is a bug in my room already, I won’t be able to go to sleep. I was so tired but I just couldn’t fall asleep. So I started to play on my phone just waiting for the moment.
Around 1 am, it finally happened. The bug came out of hiding and I was able to kill it and then I was finally able to go to sleep.
While I was tired, I was grateful that I didn’t fall asleep. I do understand that bugs have the right to live. I just don’t want them in the house.
The lesson I learned in that moment was that the Universe always takes care of me. I was able to get a sound sleep after that.
I’m glad that I’m still learning lessons and hopefully I can put them into practice and ask for help.
Asking for help doesn’t mean that you are weak, it means that you are strong enough to recognize that you need help.