It Comes Back To You


My cousin posted something on Facebook that made me uncomfortable.

She just asked if people would share something good that they did for someone else and how the good came back to them.  She stated that it isn’t bragging to tell the good that you’ve done for people and how it came back to you.

Even when I was answering the question, I became uncomfortable because it did feel like I was bragging.

I think in my case it’s easier for me to share the things that happen to me instead of the good that I do for other people.

I asked myself why am I uncomfortable telling people some of the good things that I’ve done for other people and how it’s helped me and how the good came back to me.

My answer was that it does feel like bragging when I tell some people about the good that I’ve done.  It feels to me like I’m waving a flag telling the other person that I’m a good person.

Because I’m a nurse, I do good things for people every time that I go to work.  When I do some thing nice for my patients, I end up telling them that I’m just doing my job.  Some patients tell me that no I’m not just doing my job, I’m being a good person.

Then I had another thought after answering that Facebook post.

What if that is what is needed in this world?  What if the world needs more people to talk about the good that they do and how it makes their lives better?

Doing good things makes good things come back to you.

For example, I was grocery shopping and I was checking out.  The guy in front of me was done and he was leaving.  I saw that he had left his wallet on the counter.  I waited a few seconds cause I was waiting for the cashier to say something to the guy.  The cashier didn’t say anything.  I don’t know if the cashier saw the wallet or not.  I picked up the wallet and walked to the guy and gave him back his wallet.  He thanked me and told me that he didn’t live around here and would not have known where he left his wallet.  A few days later, when I was checking out of the hotel before I was going to work, 2 cars parked behind my car in the parking lot.  I was concerned because if I backed out I was going to hit one of the cars.  A guy that was there helped me to get my car out of the parking space without hitting any of the cars.  I thanked the guy after helping me.  The good that I had put out into the Universe came back to me.

The energy that you put out into the world, whether good or bad, comes back to you.

Being a nurse, sometimes I go to work and teach the patients and sometimes the patients teach me things.  I wish I could tell the story of the best patient that I had but its not my story to tell.  This patient had so many things going wrong but the patient had the best attitude.  The patient had a very gracious attitude and aura.  I loved going into this patient’s room and being around the patient.  This patient taught me that no matter what the circumstances are, you can choose to be happy.  I will always remember this patient.  The patient was doing good things by just being gracious and thankful.

Some times just being yourself is doing a good deed.  That is how you change the world.

The world needs more people willing to do good things and share the good things that they do for other people.  Doing good things not only helps the other person but it also helps you too.

In the comments, share some good things that you have done for other people and how it came back to you.  It’s not bragging.




Living My Life on My Terms



I’ve recently had some people in my life tell me that I’m not living my life.  One person even told me that I’m in the exact same place that I was in 10 years ago.

It is their opinion since I’m not dating or in a relationship then I’m missing out on life.  To some people I’m not living because I’ve never been drunk or high.  To some people because I don’t have my own home then I’m not living my life.  To some people because I don’t have any kids then I’m not living my life.

At the end of the day, I don’t have to agree with their opinions or let their opinions change the way that I view or live my life.

I know that I am living my life.  I don’t have to be in a relationship, have kids, or be drunk to know that I’m living my life.  Only I get to choose whether I have any kids or get into a relationship.

I am in love with the life that I have now.

When I was working in the nursing home, the statement that I would hear a lot from the women was: “I was going to do something but then I had kids and life happened and I never got around to doing what I really wanted to do.”  “I wish I could have travelled the world, but…”  “I wish I could have lived on my own.”  “I wish I could have gone after my dreams.”

I always wondered what would have happened if they had not let things get in the way of their dreams.

I don’t want to end up saying any of those things when I get older.  I want to be able to say that I did what I wanted to do.

Every one has their own journey in life.  Every one has different lessons to learn in life.

I recently read an article about Tracee Ellis Ross who is living life on her terms.  She states that she often gets some people telling her that she just hasn’t met the right guy yet and that its never too late to have kids.  All of her accomplishments don’t mean anything to those people because she doesn’t have any kids or a husband to focus on.  She is selfish because she doesn’t want kids right now or she is failing at life because of her status.  She has won a Golden Globe and yet to some people that just isn’t enough.

She goes on the say that she is going to live her life on her own terms and not be controlled by the expectations of others.  She is going to be the brave Tracee.

I can completely understand what she is saying.

I tried to live my life on other people’s terms for 30 years.  I was never happy.  I was told that if I lived my life how other people wanted me to live then I would be happy.  If I got a house, dog, kids, a good career, a husband, or just a boyfriend then I would be happy.  Thankfully the Universe had other plans for my life.

I recently had a friend say that if she had a daughter, she wouldn’t want her daughter to live a life like mine.  I was hurt for a second and then I let it go.  I was tempted in that second to list the things that I have done and the things that I’m doing now.  I was proud of myself for not doing that.  At the end of the day, her opinion of my life will not change my opinion of my life. If I had a daughter and she lived the life that I’m living, then I would be proud of her.

In my opinion, I am a beautiful, strong, badass, and powerful woman.  I dare to live my life on my own terms.  I am in love with the life that I have built.  I dare to go after my dreams and to be myself.  I love myself.  My life has meaning.  Three years ago, I would not have said any of those things about myself.  To some people I live a very blessed life and to some other people I don’t.  Success and happiness are defined differently by different people.

A woman doesn’t have to have kids or have a husband to live her best life.  Oprah Winfrey is the perfect example of this.  She isn’t married to her boyfriend and she has no kids And she is living her best life.

I commit to living life on my own terms.  I commit to being the Brave Shavawn.









Why are we Lying?


One day last week, I worked on the floor without a CNA or a secretary.  I have an appreciation for every body who works in the hospital.

If one part is missing every one feels it.

I was so busy that day, I didn’t get to get a lunch break.  Only 2 of the 4 nurses got a lunch break.  The other nurse that didn’t get a lunch break told me that she wasn’t going to tell the manager that she didn’t get a lunch break.  She said that she learned a long time ago that doing that too often would lead to trouble.

I thought back to my first hospital job.  This was the first job that I got after coming out of RN school.  This hospital didn’t have computer charting.  Most everything was still on paper charting.  I had 6 or 7 patients a day.  Most of the time I didn’t start charting until after my shift was over.  I was leaving work at 9 or 10 pm.  Most of the time I would leave and there would still be another day shift nurse charting.

When I became charge nurse the job got even harder.  I still had to take 6 or 7 patients and then do the charge nurse duties.  Most of the time, I didn’t get a lunch break.  When I clocked out I would say that I didn’t get my lunch break.  After about 5 times of clocking out that I didn’t get a lunch break, I was called into the office.  The manager told me that I needed to work on my time management skills because I should be able to take a lunch break.  Since I didn’t want to be called back into the office, I just stopped clocking out and saying that I didn’t get a lunch break.  I still didn’t take a lunch break but I didn’t let management know.  I felt like I would get into more trouble if I kept telling them I didn’t get a lunch break.

Working in healthcare is already hard and stressful at times.

Making the healthcare workers feel like they have to work 30 minutes for free is not ok.  In the past, I felt bullied to lie and say I got a lunch break when I didn’t because I didn’t want to get into trouble.  I would eat while I was charting at the nurses station.  Now I don’t lie.  I want the management to know that if you don’t supply the floor with a CNA or a secretary or enough nurses then they are making my job harder.  When the schedule was made, management knew that on some of the days there would be no CNA or secretary on the floor.

I understand that sometimes there are call outs.  This day, there were no call outs, there were just not enough workers scheduled for the day.

Now when the management looks at that day, they can say that every nurse except one nurse got a lunch break.  They managed great without enough workers.

That day I felt so busy.  The nurses came together and helped each other out thankfully.

One small step that we as healthcare workers can take is to stop lying to management.  Tell the management when you don’t get to take a lunch break.  Let them know that they might need to hire more workers.

Letting management know is not only helping the workers but it is helping the patients.

I appreciate every body that works in healthcare.  When one part is missing it makes every bodies job harder.