While watching the Olympics today, I had an epiphany. I’m watching these athletes and I’m wondering how long it took them to get to where they are at right now. We see them in all their glory at the Olympics but we don’t see them when they are training to get to the Olympics. We don’t see the long hours of training or the lost time with their families. The missed dinners with friends or the times they said no to the food they love because it wouldn’t help them reach their goals to always eat out. My life coach taught me that people will notice you when you’ve reached your goals but they don’t know the day to day things that you did to reach your goals. I’m paraphrasing what she said but that was the gist of what I got out of it. It got me thinking about myself. People are starting to take notice of me. Some even think that it was an overnight success. Success is rarely overnight. First, I had to recognize that I had a problem. Second, I had to get help. I knew I couldn’t do it alone. The athletes at the Olympics don’t do it alone. They use a coach and they need support from family or friends. I got a life coach. I would never have had a blog a year and a half ago. I would have never tried pineapple or other fruits and vegetables a year and a half ago. I had to actually try new foods and new things. I had to take small steps that led to turning my dreams into reality. The day to day choices that I make will eventually lead me to my other dreams. I know now that it’s not about making major changes overnight. That’s why I never succeeded when I was on the fad diets. I would change my eating habits overnight and 3 months later, I was right back on my binging phase because I couldn’t keep up the fad diet. I still to this day have to remind myself of my dreams and think about will this decision help or harm me in the long run. If I don’t go exercising today, I might not have time tomorrow. These choices will determine my destiny. My destiny is made up of my choices that I make right now. I choose to make choices that will help me in my future.
For most of my life, I have been playing it safe. Not letting people know my opinions because I didn’t want to argue or have a heated discussion. Not going after my dreams because that would require me to change and get out of my comfort zone. I was comfortable in my comfort zone. I knew what to expect out of my life when I was in the comfort zone. I wasn’t comfortable with change. I got into my routine and I was stuck there. In this past year and a half, I realized that I can’t play it safe anymore. To get my dreams to become reality, I had to step out my comfort zone. Being a wallflower didn’t serve me anymore. It wasn’t giving me any comfort anymore. My life coach told me one time that there are people out there waiting on me to become the woman that I was meant to be. She told me that I could help them with my journey and by telling all the good and the bad. I haven’t seen one person who has made their dreams come true by staying in their comfort zones. By becoming the woman that I was always meant to be, I’m inspiring other people. One travel nurse recently asked me what new adventures I was planning. That made me feel good that people noticed that I was going on different adventures. One woman named Denise said that if the floor had 5 more nurses like me then the floor would be doing great. She said that I always had a smile on my face no matter what was going on and that I helped out a lot. My life coach helped me to realize that they were complimenting me on who I was as a person and not just me being a nurse. I have become a better nurse now that I am taking care of myself. I can tell people about my struggles and tell them that they can overcome it because I did it. Becoming a travel nurse required me to become comfortable with change. Every 13 weeks, I can stay at the hospital that I’m working for or I can go to another location. After the Florida job ended, I wanted to go to Hawaii. My recruiter told me that if I got a job in Hawaii my hours couldn’t be guaranteed. So I might not work for a whole week depended on the needs of the hospital. I still felt like I should go. I didn’t tell the recruiter to apply to jobs in Hawaii. So I started to apply to hospitals in Florida. Florida felt safe to me. I really didn’t want to go back there. If I was going to go back to Florida then I would go back to University Hospital because I like the staff there. I got 2 calls from hospitals in Florida but I declined them. I knew what I wanted and I wasn’t interested in playing it safe and staying in Florida. I prayed about it. I told my recruiter to submit me for the jobs in Hawaii. By the grace of God, all three jobs in Hawaii called me. I was able to pick the best one for me and now I’m going to Hawaii!! If I had of played it safe then I would be going back to Florida instead of where I really wanted to go. So I’ve learned not to play it safe when going after what I want. Nothing good ever happened from staying in your comfort zone.
For those of you who are choosing to love then this post is for you. My first experience with racism was in kindergarten. I was sitting around a table with four other little girls. We were all different races. One little girl said that she wanted to go to a magical island but I couldn’t go because I was black. I didn’t understand at the time why that would matter and it did hurt me. Looking back on that situation now, I realize that she was probably just repeating what she had heard her parents say. I realize that hate is taught. I recently went to a Dr. Brian Weiss workshop. He said something that stayed with me. He said how could you hate or be racist toward another human being when you know that you’ve probably been that race or gender in your past lives. I realized that my soul is colorless and genderless. When I reincarnate, I’m not always going to be black and I’m not always going to be a woman. That night in my room, I looked at my DNA results. All of the past lives that I’ve seen correspond to my DNA results. I’ve seen myself as a native American woman, a Native American male, a white male, an Asian male, an African woman, and a African American woman. I don’t think that is a coincidence. I can’t hate on or turn my back on any race because I’ve been so many races in my past lives. I choose to love all races. Turning my back on any race feels like I’m turning my back on myself. I didn’t get to where I am today just by the support of black people. It took a lot of people of different races to get me to where I am. I don’t want to live in a world where black people only support black people, white people only support white people, or Mexicans only support Mexican people. If I’m going to change this world for the better then I have to be the change that I want to see. I want to see all different types of people helping each other. When a person really and truly loves themselves then how can that same person spread hate. When you put negativity out in the world, how can you expect to get only positive things? If a person is racist towards you, that doesn’t mean that you have to be racist towards them. That is more a reflection of their character than of your character. I am still an awesome person even if some people are racist towards me. Racism is a cycle of hate that that person will have to end themselves. I believe that a racist person is going to come back in their next life as the race that they hate. That way they can see what it feels like to be hated for the color of their skin. The cycle will keep repeating itself until the lesson is learned that hate is unnecessary. We are all human beings. The color of our skin doesn’t reflect our souls. The body is just a temporary house for our souls. Just like hate can be taught so can love. Love comes more naturally to humans than hate. I choose to love rather than hate. Thank you to all the people who have supported me and changed my life.
Going vegan hasn’t been as hard as I thought it would be. For the past 3 weeks, I’ve only had meat 3 times. The veggie burgers have begun to taste like meat. I also eat a lot more beans now. I’m still trying to find one that I don’t have to cook. When I ate the chicken and the tuna, I got bloated afterwards. The tuna was too salty. My taste buds have changed. I realized that that bloated feeling used to be normal to me. When I was eating fast food every meal, I was always bloated. Now that I’m listening to my body, I know what it craves now. I don’t crave meat. I used to say that I couldn’t eat any vegetables without meat and now I can. Ever since I started to eat healthy my mood has stabilized. My life coach said to me one time that the “standard American diet” is designed to make you feel sad. I did feel sad a lot when I ate fast food every meal. I was on an emotional rollercoaster every day. It was exhausting. Now when someone makes a bad comment about me, I just brush it off. I feel so good about myself that their opinion doesn’t make me feel bad anymore. I never realized that what you put in your body effects how you feel about yourself. Even exercising effects my mood. The vegan meals at the Omega Institute were great. I thought going vegan would mean that the food would have no taste or be bland. I was surprised to be proven wrong. Slowly and surely I’m going to go completely vegan. I love the way I feel now so I can’t go back to the way things used to be. I may cave in and have a muffin every now and then around that time of the month but I won’t feel guilty.