It Comes Back To You

 

My cousin posted something on Facebook that made me uncomfortable.

She just asked if people would share something good that they did for someone else and how the good came back to them.  She stated that it isn’t bragging to tell the good that you’ve done for people and how it came back to you.

Even when I was answering the question, I became uncomfortable because it did feel like I was bragging.

I think in my case it’s easier for me to share the things that happen to me instead of the good that I do for other people.

I asked myself why am I uncomfortable telling people some of the good things that I’ve done for other people and how it’s helped me and how the good came back to me.

My answer was that it does feel like bragging when I tell some people about the good that I’ve done.  It feels to me like I’m waving a flag telling the other person that I’m a good person.

Because I’m a nurse, I do good things for people every time that I go to work.  When I do some thing nice for my patients, I end up telling them that I’m just doing my job.  Some patients tell me that no I’m not just doing my job, I’m being a good person.

Then I had another thought after answering that Facebook post.

What if that is what is needed in this world?  What if the world needs more people to talk about the good that they do and how it makes their lives better?

Doing good things makes good things come back to you.

For example, I was grocery shopping and I was checking out.  The guy in front of me was done and he was leaving.  I saw that he had left his wallet on the counter.  I waited a few seconds cause I was waiting for the cashier to say something to the guy.  The cashier didn’t say anything.  I don’t know if the cashier saw the wallet or not.  I picked up the wallet and walked to the guy and gave him back his wallet.  He thanked me and told me that he didn’t live around here and would not have known where he left his wallet.  A few days later, when I was checking out of the hotel before I was going to work, 2 cars parked behind my car in the parking lot.  I was concerned because if I backed out I was going to hit one of the cars.  A guy that was there helped me to get my car out of the parking space without hitting any of the cars.  I thanked the guy after helping me.  The good that I had put out into the Universe came back to me.

The energy that you put out into the world, whether good or bad, comes back to you.

Being a nurse, sometimes I go to work and teach the patients and sometimes the patients teach me things.  I wish I could tell the story of the best patient that I had but its not my story to tell.  This patient had so many things going wrong but the patient had the best attitude.  The patient had a very gracious attitude and aura.  I loved going into this patient’s room and being around the patient.  This patient taught me that no matter what the circumstances are, you can choose to be happy.  I will always remember this patient.  The patient was doing good things by just being gracious and thankful.

Some times just being yourself is doing a good deed.  That is how you change the world.

The world needs more people willing to do good things and share the good things that they do for other people.  Doing good things not only helps the other person but it also helps you too.

In the comments, share some good things that you have done for other people and how it came back to you.  It’s not bragging.

 

 

 

Living My Life on My Terms

 

 

I’ve recently had some people in my life tell me that I’m not living my life.  One person even told me that I’m in the exact same place that I was in 10 years ago.

It is their opinion since I’m not dating or in a relationship then I’m missing out on life.  To some people I’m not living because I’ve never been drunk or high.  To some people because I don’t have my own home then I’m not living my life.  To some people because I don’t have any kids then I’m not living my life.

At the end of the day, I don’t have to agree with their opinions or let their opinions change the way that I view or live my life.

I know that I am living my life.  I don’t have to be in a relationship, have kids, or be drunk to know that I’m living my life.  Only I get to choose whether I have any kids or get into a relationship.

I am in love with the life that I have now.

When I was working in the nursing home, the statement that I would hear a lot from the women was: “I was going to do something but then I had kids and life happened and I never got around to doing what I really wanted to do.”  “I wish I could have travelled the world, but…”  “I wish I could have lived on my own.”  “I wish I could have gone after my dreams.”

I always wondered what would have happened if they had not let things get in the way of their dreams.

I don’t want to end up saying any of those things when I get older.  I want to be able to say that I did what I wanted to do.

Every one has their own journey in life.  Every one has different lessons to learn in life.

I recently read an article about Tracee Ellis Ross who is living life on her terms.  She states that she often gets some people telling her that she just hasn’t met the right guy yet and that its never too late to have kids.  All of her accomplishments don’t mean anything to those people because she doesn’t have any kids or a husband to focus on.  She is selfish because she doesn’t want kids right now or she is failing at life because of her status.  She has won a Golden Globe and yet to some people that just isn’t enough.

She goes on the say that she is going to live her life on her own terms and not be controlled by the expectations of others.  She is going to be the brave Tracee.

I can completely understand what she is saying.

I tried to live my life on other people’s terms for 30 years.  I was never happy.  I was told that if I lived my life how other people wanted me to live then I would be happy.  If I got a house, dog, kids, a good career, a husband, or just a boyfriend then I would be happy.  Thankfully the Universe had other plans for my life.

I recently had a friend say that if she had a daughter, she wouldn’t want her daughter to live a life like mine.  I was hurt for a second and then I let it go.  I was tempted in that second to list the things that I have done and the things that I’m doing now.  I was proud of myself for not doing that.  At the end of the day, her opinion of my life will not change my opinion of my life. If I had a daughter and she lived the life that I’m living, then I would be proud of her.

In my opinion, I am a beautiful, strong, badass, and powerful woman.  I dare to live my life on my own terms.  I am in love with the life that I have built.  I dare to go after my dreams and to be myself.  I love myself.  My life has meaning.  Three years ago, I would not have said any of those things about myself.  To some people I live a very blessed life and to some other people I don’t.  Success and happiness are defined differently by different people.

A woman doesn’t have to have kids or have a husband to live her best life.  Oprah Winfrey is the perfect example of this.  She isn’t married to her boyfriend and she has no kids And she is living her best life.

I commit to living life on my own terms.  I commit to being the Brave Shavawn.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why are we Lying?

 

One day last week, I worked on the floor without a CNA or a secretary.  I have an appreciation for every body who works in the hospital.

If one part is missing every one feels it.

I was so busy that day, I didn’t get to get a lunch break.  Only 2 of the 4 nurses got a lunch break.  The other nurse that didn’t get a lunch break told me that she wasn’t going to tell the manager that she didn’t get a lunch break.  She said that she learned a long time ago that doing that too often would lead to trouble.

I thought back to my first hospital job.  This was the first job that I got after coming out of RN school.  This hospital didn’t have computer charting.  Most everything was still on paper charting.  I had 6 or 7 patients a day.  Most of the time I didn’t start charting until after my shift was over.  I was leaving work at 9 or 10 pm.  Most of the time I would leave and there would still be another day shift nurse charting.

When I became charge nurse the job got even harder.  I still had to take 6 or 7 patients and then do the charge nurse duties.  Most of the time, I didn’t get a lunch break.  When I clocked out I would say that I didn’t get my lunch break.  After about 5 times of clocking out that I didn’t get a lunch break, I was called into the office.  The manager told me that I needed to work on my time management skills because I should be able to take a lunch break.  Since I didn’t want to be called back into the office, I just stopped clocking out and saying that I didn’t get a lunch break.  I still didn’t take a lunch break but I didn’t let management know.  I felt like I would get into more trouble if I kept telling them I didn’t get a lunch break.

Working in healthcare is already hard and stressful at times.

Making the healthcare workers feel like they have to work 30 minutes for free is not ok.  In the past, I felt bullied to lie and say I got a lunch break when I didn’t because I didn’t want to get into trouble.  I would eat while I was charting at the nurses station.  Now I don’t lie.  I want the management to know that if you don’t supply the floor with a CNA or a secretary or enough nurses then they are making my job harder.  When the schedule was made, management knew that on some of the days there would be no CNA or secretary on the floor.

I understand that sometimes there are call outs.  This day, there were no call outs, there were just not enough workers scheduled for the day.

Now when the management looks at that day, they can say that every nurse except one nurse got a lunch break.  They managed great without enough workers.

That day I felt so busy.  The nurses came together and helped each other out thankfully.

One small step that we as healthcare workers can take is to stop lying to management.  Tell the management when you don’t get to take a lunch break.  Let them know that they might need to hire more workers.

Letting management know is not only helping the workers but it is helping the patients.

I appreciate every body that works in healthcare.  When one part is missing it makes every bodies job harder.

 

Self Care is not Optional

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Ever since I started to practice self care, my perspective on life has changed.

Recently a co-worker asked me why I didn’t work any overtime.  She told me that she thought that all travel nurses worked over time.

I explained to her why I chose to be a travel nurse.  I chose to be a travel nurse so that I could live in different areas.  I want to be able to explore the different areas that I go to.  I love to travel and meet different people.

Even if I wasn’t a travel nurse, I would choose not to work over time.  The reason for that is because I am a better person and a better nurse when I take care of myself.  Part of taking care of myself is not working too much and making time for self care and fun.  Eating right and exercising are also parts of my self care.

On my days off, I can do whatever I want to do.  I can go hiking, just sit in the park, yoga, or just stay at home.  Those self care practices help me to stay centered, creative, and in balance.

When I was just working and not taking care of myself, I wasn’t balanced.  I was frustrated and overwhelmed.   I was stressed and I was burnt out.  My patients could tell too.

Now that self care is a priority, I’m happy and I can maintain it.

Unfortunately, the trend that I’m seeing in nursing is to make self care optional.  Its ok to work 6 or 7 days straight, as long as the nurse is getting paid well.  Its ok for the nurse to be really tired coming into work.  The nurse had 12 hours to sleep in between the shifts.

What some people don’t take into account is that the nurse also has a personal life.  When the nurse goes home, they have to take care of that home.  The nurse also may have children to spend time with.  The nurse may have a significant other to spend time with.  The nurse may have aging parents to take care of.  The nurse may have pets.

I’ve seen and heard of nurses working 6 or 7 days a week for months at a time.  They come in to work and they state that they are so tired.  They state that they wish this day would hurry up and be done with.  I have to attribute that to them just wanting and needing a day off.

Too much work and no fun or self care makes a person very stressed.

I recently read an article in Cosmopolitan magazine titled: “The Stress Solution You Haven’t Thought Of”.  The article talks about taking mental health days off from work and how important it is not only for the company but for the employee as well.  One of the quotes that caught my attention was, “Taking time off lowers the stress hormone cortisol.” – Richard Shuster.  Another quote states, “Days off can improve sleep, boost mood, and lessen risks for heart disease and depression.  And being away from work actually makes you better at work.” – Jessica Goodman.

I can attest to these statements.  When I get 4 days off a week, I come into work less tired and stressed.  When I work 4 days in a week, I feel more tired and stressed.  I love being a nurse but I also love having a thriving personal life.  I love spending time with my family and friends.  I love being able to go hiking when the sun is shining.  I love to sit around the lake and write in my journal.   I can give my best self to my patients when I’m operating at 100%.

I understand some nurses need to work more days in a week for financial or personal reasons.  This is when self care becomes even more important.  When working more hours the need for self care rises.  The nurse needs to be able to have some time to relax and to do the things that help with their stress levels.   Even if its something as simple as taking a bubble bath.

Self care is not optional.  Self care is not selfish.  Self care is necessary and important.

 

Mental Health Issue or Illness?

About 3 years ago, I was renting a townhouse in my hometown.  It was 5 separate townhomes connected together.  My home was in the middle.

About a week after moving in, I was sitting in the living room watching television.  All of a sudden, it sounded like someone kicked the front door.  About 5 minutes before I had taken the trash out.  I looked out the front door and I didn’t see anyone.  I went outside and didn’t see anyone on the street.  I was scared.  I called my dad and he told me to call the police.  So I did.

My parents arrived before the police officer.  When the police officer arrived, he told me some very important information.  I didn’t know who had kicked the door.  The police officer told me about what had happened with the previous renters.  The previous renters had had some problems with the neighbor that lived next to them.  The neighbor was hearing loud music and accusing the other neighbors of doing it.  The police officer told me that this neighbor had been caught throwing rocks at the house at night and yelling for the previous renters to turn down the music.  The previous renters had been asleep at the time that the neighbor started throwing the rocks .

At that point, I had already signed a year long lease and so I just had to hope that that situation wouldn’t happen to me.

The next week, I had gotten home from work at 10:00pm.  I lived an hour away from my job, so I would leave the house at 5:30 am and usually get back home around 9:30pm.  When I got into the house, I was sitting my things down and then my door bell rings.  I go to the front door and its the neighbor that had thrown the rocks at the house with the previous renters.  The neighbor asks me if I had been playing loud music all day.  I told the neighbor no and that I had just gotten home from work.  The neighbor asked me if I had an alarm clock that had been left on.  I told him no.  I used my phone as my alarm clock and I took my phone with me to work.  The neighbor then went to the other town house on the other side and asked them if they had been playing loud music.

The next week, I met some of the other neighbors.  I asked them if they had heard any loud music.  None of the other neighbors had heard any loud music.  One of the neighbors told me about the problems that they had had with the neighbor about loud music.  That neighbor said that they had not been playing any loud music or heard any loud music.

Over the next 2 years, I had a lot of problems with that particular neighbor.  I was woken up at night by loud banging on the wall that connected our town house together.  One night I heard the neighbor yelling to turn down the music from outside.  I couldn’t see the neighbor when I looked outside.  I was woken up one day by loud classical music.

Looking back on the situation, I was meant to be in that town house.  I was actually looking to rent the house to the right of my town house.  I put in my application for that town house and some how my check got lost and returned to me.  When I called the realtor, she stated that since she hadn’t received my check that she had rented the town home to another renter.  The next week, I found out the town house right next to it was up for rent.

Also looking back on that situation, I feel like the neighbor might have had a mental issue or illness.  No one else was hearing loud music.

I now have sympathy for that neighbor.  While going through the situation, I was scared.  I was scared that that neighbor would snap and lose it one day.  Since the neighbor thought that I was the one playing the loud music, I was scared that the neighbor would eventually hurt me.

How scary would it be to be hearing loud music that no one else is hearing?

How scary would it be to admit to yourself that you may have a mental issue or illness?

It was probably easier for that neighbor to blame the other neighbors than to admit that something else was going on.  I know that it would be easier for me to blame the other neighbors.

I don’t know if I would have the courage to admit that I was hearing loud music that no one else was hearing.  I would be afraid to take the medication.  I would be scared of the side effects of the medication.  I would be scared that the medication might not work.  I would be scared of having to tell people about my mental illness.  I would be scared of the changes that the mental illness would bring to my life.

Thankfully mental illness can be managed well with help.

There does need to be more mental health hospitals in the country.

When I wanted help for my eating disorder, I wanted to find a therapist that specialized in eating disorders.  At the time, I wasn’t able to find one in the Atlanta area.  I found group meetings for eating disorders but I wanted one on one help.

People who get help for their mental issues or illnesses are courageous.  It takes guts to admit that there is a problem.

I do hope that the people who bought the house after I moved out aren’t having any issues like I had.  I wanted to tell them about the neighbor but the landlord really wanted to sell the house.  So I kept my mouth shut.  I did tell myself if they asked me then I would tell but they never asked.

Its ok to ask for help

Recently some of my Facebook friends posted that no one should be posting their personal problems on Facebook.

To some extent I agree but if a person needs help and that person has no one to turn to, I would like them to post on Facebook.  I don’t want to hear about someone being horny or their sex life.  I almost deleted a family member from Facebook because of that issue.

Most people only post the good things that happen in their lives.  Most people don’t post that they didn’t get the job because of them being late or having a bad attitude.  Most people don’t want to post that they got fired because they weren’t doing the job or they were being lazy.

One of the reasons that I write this blog is to show people that you can overcome your problems and that everyone has problems.

When I was going through my eating disorder, I felt alone.  Yes I had family and friends that I could have talked to but I felt ashamed or that I might be judged by them.  I knew that there were other people that were going through an eating disorder.  I felt that because I was a nurse that I should know better.  Now I love to see and read blogs about people with eating disorders and how they got help with them.

I wish that more people would share their problems so that every one would know that their problems are not unique and that they can get through their own problems.

There was one time that I was glad that a Facebook friend shared their problem.  This friend’s posts were becoming suicidal.  One day this friend posted a date and a time that they were going to kill themselves.  I didn’t know where this friend lived and there were other people on Facebook that were concerned as well.  Finally another of my Facebook friends messaged me and told me that she had sent the police to this friend’s house.  Thankfully that friend didn’t commit suicide because they had posted it on Facebook.

In my opinion it is ok to post the hard times that you are going through.  Maybe one of your friends can help you or maybe they can refer you to some one that can help you.  Maybe one of your family or friends has been through the same problem that you are going through and can tell you how they handled the problem.

I’m glad that I reached out and asked for help for my eating disorder.  If I had not of asked for help, then I would not be where I am at in my life today.  I would not be happy.  I would still be waiting on my husband to make me happy.  I would not have the energy to have a blog, be a travel nurse, and be in school to be a life coach.  I would not love to exercise.  I would not have fallen in love with myself.

On Facebook, I see a lot of people saying that you should keep your next moves silent so that no one will know what you are up to.

I don’t believe that.

One of my best friends told me that when you are ready the teacher will come.  When I was ready to do something about my eating disorder, I sought out a life coach.  I told her my dreams and she is helping me to get to them.

Recently my cousin called me and told me one her of dreams and what she was trying to do.  She asked me some questions because I’m a nurse.  I answered her questions and helped her.  Hopefully she will get the business up and running.  I’m proud that I was able to help her and that she thought of me.

Its ok to tell people what you’re trying to do and to ask for help.  For example, I was talking to another nurse and I told her that I’m in school to be a life coach.  She said she didn’t know what a life coach was and I explained it to her.  I even gave her my life coach’s website.  In the future, she could be a client for my life coach or myself.  I know that if I don’t let anybody know about my business then I won’t get any clients.  My ideal clients are going to be nurses.  So I need to talk to other nurses about my business.

I guess some people are afraid that if they tell any body about their dreams then that person may steal their ideas.  I believe that there is enough room in the world for many ideas and many businesses.

Asking for help doesn’t make you weak, it means that you are strong enough to recognize that you need help.

When my friend posted that Facebook message about harming himself, he was being strong enough to ask for help.  When my cousin called me, she was being strong enough to ask for help.  To turn some of my dreams into reality, I needed some help.

Sometimes it takes some help for your dreams to come true.

In high school, I wasn’t doing so good in math in my senior year.  Math was my favorite subject.  I usually did good in that subject.  I was just telling myself that I would just study harder and do better.  The teacher was concerned because I was doing bad.  She wanted me to get a tutor but I was against the idea.  Getting a tutor felt like failure to me.  I wanted to be able to do it myself.  When I wasn’t able to leave early after the senior picnic because of my math grade, my parents told me to get a tutor.  I ended up getting a tutor and passing math.  Looking back at the situation now, I just wonder why I was so against getting a tutor.  I guess I just wanted to be able to say that I got a good grade on my own, with no help.  I didn’t want some people to know that I needed a tutor or that I needed help.

I don’t know if I would have passed the class if I had not gotten a tutor.  For some reason, I was just not getting trigonometry as easily as all the other math classes that I had taken.

Its ok to ask for help.

 

Trying to listen to my intuition

Recently I didn’t listen to my intuition and got myself into a situation.

A couple of months ago, I was looking for my next travel nurse assignment.  I remember telling my recruiter that I was done with Georgia and Florida and that I wanted to go somewhere new.  She sent me some Texas jobs.  None of the jobs were in Houston.  I asked her if there were any jobs in Houston.  She called the hospital and she told me that there were no jobs in Houston.  She did say that it was odd because there were usually at least one job in Houston.  So I told her to look in Nevada.  If there had of been a job in Houston, then I would have been there when hurricane Harvey hit.  I just wasn’t meant to be there.

I found a job in Reno, Nevada that looked nice.  My recruiter submitted me and then the waiting began.  She had told me it took the hospital 5 weeks to call the last nurse that was sent there.  A month passed and still no word from the hospital.  I started to get anxious.  My money was getting low.

I told my recruiter to start sending me jobs from Georgia and Florida.  Something in my spirit told me to wait.

During this process, I was talking to another travel agency.  I’ve been a travel nurse for 2 years and this new agency was teaching me a lot of things about the travel nurse business.  In travel nursing, there are job tier levels.

A tier 1 job is a job that the travel agency has a direct phone number to the hiring manager.  When the travel agency sends the nurse’s resume, the agency can call the manager and ask when the manager is planning to call.  My new agency told me that the nurse is more likely to get a tier 1 job because the travel agency can speak to a live person.

A tier 2 job is a job that the travel agency has an email address of the hiring manager.  The travel agency doesn’t have a phone number.  Again, the travel nurse is more likely to get this job than a tier 3 job because the travel nurse agency has a contact source to the hiring manager.

A tier 3 job is a job where the travel nurse agency doesn’t have contact with the hiring manager.  The travel nurse agency just sends the nurse’s resume.  The travel nurse agency doesn’t know when the job will call or when the hiring manager will look at the nurse’s resume.  It could take months before the travel nurse gets a call from the hospital.  To get a tier 3 job, the travel nurse must be willing to wait.

Last month, I wasn’t willing to wait anymore.  My intuition was telling me to wait but my bank account was telling me another story.  I was submitted to the job in the middle of July and by the middle of August, the hospital still hadn’t called.

I had already found a great apartment in Reno.  I had mapped all the hiking trails that I was going to go on.  The apartment was overlooking the river.  I was going to try stand up paddle boarding.  The park nearby had kayak lessons. I was going to visit the Indian reservations.  I was going to go to the Grand Canyon.  I was so excited to be going somewhere new.   California was right next to Nevada and I was going to visit it on my days off.  The job in Reno was a tier 3 job.

I eventually went with a job in my home state of Georgia.  A part of me was excited because I would finally have some money coming in.  There was also another side of me that told me that I should have waited on the job that I really wanted.

One of the reasons that I became a travel nurse was to go to new places and live.  I love to explore different places and getting to know new things about those places.

Just last week the hospital from Reno called.  I was sad because I already had a job.  When my assignment is over, there is no guarantee that the hospital in Reno will have any day positions open.  My intuition was telling me to wait but I needed some money, so I didn’t listen.

Now I’m driving 3 hours to work each week and staying at a hotel on the days that I work.  On my days off, I travel back to my hometown.  Its getting very tiring to do this.

I had to finally let go and tell myself that next time I will listen to my intuition.

 

The Cumulative Effect

I recently got asked a question that I don’t get asked a lot.  I was talking with another nurse about my weight loss.

She asked me, “Why did I gain the weight?”.

I told her that I was just making bad food choices.  I was eating fast food a lot.  I didn’t feel the need to tell her about the eating disorder.  That did play a big role in the weight gain.

When I got home, I really thought about her question.  It wasn’t just that I was making bad food choices.  It was the cumulative effect of bad food choices that I was making that led to me gaining weight.  It was the choice to eat doughnuts, lunchables, and fast food every day.  It was the choice not to exercise.  It was the choices that I was consistently making that were leading to my weight gain.

When I decided to work with a life coach and we modified my diet, I started to lose weight.

Why?

I was consistently making healthy food choices.

I had to understand that eating healthy for one meal a day wasn’t going to help me to lose weight.

It took me a while to get to that realization.

For the first few months of working with my life coach, I was still eating doughnuts.  I had given up the fast food but I couldn’t seem to let go of the doughnuts.

We did this exercise for a few weeks.  I was just to see how I felt after eating each meal.  I started to notice a pattern.  I noticed that after eating healthy, I had more energy and I felt great.  My mood was more positive.  After eating doughnuts, I felt tired and depressed.    My mood was negative.

I had never before realized how important my nutrition was to my overall health.  To reach my goals I needed to have the energy so that I could go after my dreams and goals. 

That realization led me to eventually give up eating doughnuts every day.

Now I don’t always make the best food choices.  Sometimes I do eat a piece of cake or a muffin.  I just don’t do it every day or for every meal like I used to do.

Understanding the impact of my food decisions, helps me to make better food choices on a day to day basis.  If I gain 5 pounds, then I know that I am not making good food choices consistently or I’m not exercising enough.

To maintain my weight, I have to consistently make good food choices and exercise.

Every decision that I make is shaping my whole life.

Taking care of myself by eating right and exercising my body,mentally and physically, is helping me to have the energy to sustain the life that I am living right now.

The Good and the Bad

I had a very interesting night a couple weeks ago.

I was with my friend and she introduced me to a short story called, “The Egg” by Andy Weir.  The message that I got from the story is that we are all one.  This is a quote from The Egg:

“But all the people on earth…All you. Different incarnations of you.”-Andy Weir.

This friend told me that I should support an organization because I’m black, I told her no.  The short story of The Egg, says exactly what I was trying to say.  Only supporting one group of people is like asking me to just support one side of my body.  She told me that I have to deal with the body that I’m in right now.  I don’t agree with that.

I am not my body.  I am a spiritual being. 

No one’s soul is black, white, asian, or Mexican.  God/Universe doesn’t just show love to a certain group of people that look alike.  My DNA says that my body is Nigerian, Mali, Cameroon, Native American, Irish, Scandinavian, Southeast Asian, and British.  If I just support one “race” then I’m not supporting all parts of this body that I’m in now.  I’m borrowing this body right now.  In a hundred years, I probably won’t be in this body anymore.

The beauty in that is that I get to choose what to do.  I don’t have to live my life according to what other people what me to do.  I get to live my life the way that I want to live it.

Every one has that choice. 

My friend asked me how I was changing the world.  I replied that I was changing myself.  For example, as a travel nurse I am spreading my positivity around where ever I go.  People are noticing that I can keep my smile during a stressful situation.  After going skydiving, one woman said that she was now inspired to go skydiving.  Some of the nurses are inspired to become a travel nurse because of all the adventures that I talk about.  I started the blog for myself and if it helps other people that is great.  That is just some of the ways that I’m changing the world.  Some things that I do, I don’t talk about because I do it from the heart and I don’t want everyone to know.

That’s why I say to change the world, you need to change yourself. 

Sending positive energy into the Universe always comes back to you.  If the people around you are angry, then you are putting out that vibe into the Universe.

When I was in the process of falling in love with myself, I learned that I have to love all of myself.  I can’t just pick and choose what part of myself I’m going to love.  I have to accept and love all of myself.  I dont just opt to love the “African” side or the “British” side of my body.  One friend of mine said that she didn’t want anyone to have to settle for loving the crazy parts of her because she was really crazy.  I wanted to tell her that she has to love all the parts of herself before you can ask anyone else to love all of you unless you are willing to love all of yourself.  I didn’t tell her that because she didn’t ask for my opinion.  She just wanted me to listen.  I used to be in relationships asking for my boyfriend to love me when I didn’t even love myself.  I had to learn to love myself, the good and the bad.

When we got back to my friend’s apartment, we sat outside by the pool and talked.  We talked about spirit animals and other things.  There were ants crawling on our picnic table.  I looked up the meaning of ants.  Ants are small but they are very strong.  “No matter how small your task, or your contribution, it is still essential.  All good things come with time and effort.” – Ant.

One man was listening to our conversation.  My friend and I ended up sitting at the picnic table that he was at and having a conversation with the man.  The message that I got from the conversation, is that when a person has peace on the inside they radiate that peace outwards to other people.  I know that to be true.  People are starting to notice the inner peace that I have cultivated.

I didn’t agree with everything that the man said but I listened to him.

It is possible to really listen to someone that you don’t agree with and be respectful.

What would the world be like if we actually listened to other people instead of just waiting for them to finish so that we could state our opinion? 

I do this sometimes too.  Just like I want to be heard so does the other person that I’m talking to.

The man also stated that I needed to look up the meaning of my name.  I need to know what I’m responding too.  A lot of people have asked me what my name means and I always respond that I don’t know.  When I got home, I looked up the meaning of my name.  My name means, God is gracious in Irish.  No wonder I think that God/Universe is gracious.  God/Universe has always taken care of me, even when I make a “mistake”.

The biggest lesson that I learned from that night was to radiate peace from within.  That is how I’m going to spread peace and love. That is also how peace and love are going to come back to me.  The energy that I put out into the universe is going to come back to me.  Whether it be good or bad energy.

I believe that that man was sent there to remind me of that.  If I had not listened to him, I may have missed that message from the Universe.

https://www.spirit-animals.com/ant-symbolism-ant-meaning/.

 

 

 

Change is Nature

I was recently watching one of my favorite movies and I gained a new perspective on it.  The movie was Ratatouille.

The movie is about a rat, Remy, that can cook.  Remy is tired of being the typical rat always stealing garbage.  He wants to make things instead and be a cook.  Remy’s father is content with the way things are.  In order to do what he loves, the rat needs a human to help him.  Linguine, a human, finds out that Remy can cook.  They come up with a plan to help each other.

At one point in the movie, Remy’s father takes him to an exterminator shop to show Remy dead rats.  Remy’s father tells him that this is what happens when rats get too close to humans.  Remy’s father tells him that we live in the enemy’s world and we look out for our own kind.  Remy’s father states that, “this is the way things are and we can’t change nature.”  Remy refuses to believe that.  Remy states that, “change is nature”.  He realizes in that moment that the future doesn’t have to be the present.  He can make a different future and he does.  At the end of the movie, Remy is cooking at a restaurant and Linguine is a waiter at that restaurant.

This has happened in real life too.

A pod of killer whales in Australia used to help whalers to catch baleen whales.  Every fall this pod would come to Eden, Australia.  The Thaua people of the Yuin nation had developed a relationship with the killer whales.  The killer whales would herd the whales into the bay.  One of the killer whales would alert the humans by either breaching or tail slapping until the humans showed up.  The killer whales would then lead them to the baleen whale.  After the whale was caught and killed, the humans would let the killer whales eat the lips and the tongue.  The humans would get the rest of the baleen whale.  They even put a law into placed called the Law of the Tongue.  The whalers had to let the killer whales eat the tongue and the lips.  The killer whales would protect the humans from sharks and help them from drowning when the boats were destroyed.  If a killer whale became trapped in the nets the humans would help the killer whale out of the nets.

If humans had only looked out for themselves then this relationship would not have worked or vice versa.  There are a lot more stories of killer whales helping humans to fish and the humans giving some fish to the killer whales for helping them.

So I posed a question to myself.

Why do some humans like to only be around people that look and think like them?  If humans and animals can learn to work together, then why can’t all humans learn to work together?

I thought about that question for a while.  I guess some people like to be around people that think like them and look like them because it makes them comfortable.  Those people won’t challenge their views on the world.  It helps keep them in their comfort zone.  I used to be like that.  I liked having all my friends look like me.  It was comfortable to me.  Now I’m happy that all my friends don’t look and think like me.

When I became a nurse, I had to work with a lot of different people.  I had to take care of patients that didn’t always look like me or think like me.  I’ve heard a lot of different view points.

The most important thing that I learned was just to listen to different view points.

I don’t have to agree with them but I can at least listen and have a discussion without getting into a heated argument.  That is just one of the reasons that I love being a nurse.  I get to talk to all types of people and learn new things from all of them.