Worrying About the What Ifs

I have a tendency to worry about the what ifs.  What if what I plan doesn’t go exactly how I plan it?  What will happen in my future if my dreams come true?  Asking myself these questions has caused me to worry and be anxious about things.

Usually even if my plans don’t go exactly like I planned, the situation still works out in my favor.

For example, I had multiple dreams that I had become an RN.  During my L&D rotation, I ended up making a 74.4.  I was anxious and worried about my future.  I worried about how I was going to get into another nursing school.  I worried about how my dreams were going to come true.  The dreams would only work out if I graduated from nursing school in 2010.  I still worried even though I have had multiple other dreams come true word for word.  After 3 weeks, the teacher ended up giving every one the 6 points for the take home quizzes and I ended up passing the class.  For 3 weeks, I had worried myself for nothing.  I knew I was going to be an RN but looking at the evidence in front of me, it was still hard to have faith in my dreams and God.  In 2010, I graduated and became an RN.

Like my life coach tells me, “I don’t need to worry about the how.”

I don’t need to worry about how things are going to work out.  I already know that I am guided and my history has proven that I’m always taken care of, even when I make a “mistake”.

Recently, I became worried about a situation that hasn’t even happened yet.  I’m going on a cruise by myself this June.  I know that I’m meant to be on this cruise.  I’ve had multiple dreams about it.  I was nervous about the crowds, who I was going to meet, and if it was going to work out like I wanted it to.  In talking with my life coach, she talked me through my worst case scenarios.  I told her my fears and why I was feeling that way.  I began to realize that my fears weren’t based in reality.  I knew that God wouldn’t just lead me to this and then leave me to come up with the plan on my own.

I was worrying about the how.  Its not my job to worry about how things are going to work out.  Its my job to show up and do what I need to do. If I had not applied to nursing school, then I would not have become an RN.  I would not be a travel nurse, if I had not become an RN.

It is very easy to get myself worked up and worried about the what ifs in life.  I’m learning to just stop and pause.  I’m learning to look at my past and realize that things usually work out.  They may not work out like I want them to, but they do work out.

I could have saved myself from so much worrying and anxiety, if I would just trust that God is going to help me and take care of me.

How much time and worry could you save if you just trusted and had faith?



I’ve never liked changes.  I like routines.  Routines make me feel comfortable because I know what to expect from routines.

The life of a travel nurse is all about change.

So how do I handle change or a transition?  I ask for help.  Thank God I have a life coach.  Together we make a plan for the new changes.  Sometimes even with the plan, I still feel overwhelmed.

For example, when I first moved to Florida for my travel nurse job yesterday, I still felt overwhelmed.  I had just drove over 8 hours.  I was tired and hungry.  I still had to unload the car and get some groceries.  That was a part of the plan that me and my life coach had planned.  I still had to call my life coach and talk over the plan with her.  We changed some things and I felt better after that.  I didn’t finish the whole plan that was set up because I feel asleep but that’s ok.  I did the things that felt right for me to do at the time.

I’m going through some transitions both personally and professionally right now.  It is very easy for me to feel overwhelmed at times.

I’ve learned that I have to do things that make me feel relaxed and take time to really take care of myself.  I have to meditate, do yoga, read a book, or just watch my favorite DVDs.  Doing these things helps me not to feel too overwhelmed.

One of these transitions that is taking place is one that I have been looking forward to for about 8 years now.  I’m not going to lie and say that I’m not scared.  This transition is going to lead to a new phase in my life.  I’m going to try not to tell the people that doubted me, I told you so.  I’m also learning that I don’t need their approval to know that my dreams are real.  I used to want people to say that they believed in my dreams when I shared my dreams with them.

Some transitions are sad.  For example, I used to have three best friends.  Now I only have two. I’m grateful for my two best friends.  I’m realizing now that I can still survive without that person.  I still have love for her but I can still be happy without her in my life.  That was a very hard transition at the time.  It has become easier over time.  If some one had asked me two year ago if that person would still be in my life in ten years, I would have said yes.  I wish nothing but happiness for her.  It was always supposed to happen the way that it happened.

I don’t think its a coincidence that my life coach is doing a video series on transitions.  I admire her so much.  She recently with through a major transition and she was still able to help me with my stuff.

Transitions happen in every bodies life.

Sometimes just listening to uplifting music helps me to not feel overwhelmed.  Following is a song that helps me.  I just watched the movie, “Sing”.




Tips for Travel Nurses Going to Hawaii

The number one complaint that I heard from travel nurses in Hawaii was I wish other travel nurses had told me about how to handle the assignment.  I’m going to give some tips on how to.


You’re going to need reliable transportation.

I chose to do a rental car.  That can get really expensive.  I found another travel nurse that gave me a rental car company that charged less than anybody else.  It worked out great.  I could just trade in the car when something went wrong with it and get another car.  I didn’t have to pay for oil changes and the upkeep of the car.

Another traveler just bought a cheap used car and sold it when he was done.  I probably should have done this but I didn’t want to have to find someone to buy the car.  This route can save money so that you can spend more money on experiences.  You’re going to want to island hop as much as possible.  Every island is different.

Another traveler just had her car shipped to Hawaii.  I looked into that and it can be expensive depending on where it is being shipped from.  It would be less expensive if I had of drove my car to California and shipped it from there.  It was about $2100 to ship to Hawaii and then another $2100 to ship it back to my parents home.

Another option is to just buy a bike.  One traveler did this because she lived so close to the hospital.  She only rented a car when she wanted to go to the other side of the island.  She saved a lot of money and was able to go to the other islands on a weekly basis.

Another option is to check with your landlord and see if they have a car to rent.  I stayed at the Bayshore Towers and the management at the apartments had a Jeep that they passed from travel nurse to travel nurse.  At the time I stayed there, it was being used by another travel nurse.  Some apartments will advertise that there is a cheap car that they can rent.

When I go back to Hawaii, depending on the length of my assignment, I’m going to buy a cheap car and sell it.


One option is to rent a room.  I rented a room from airbnb for my last month.  It was an interesting experience.  Just make sure to ask questions about who else is living in the house.  Ask about the quiet hours on the weekend and during the week.  Going this route can save a lot of money.  Its cheaper than a hotel sometimes.

Another option is rent an apartment or condo.  There are plenty of these to choose from.  I found that a lot of people own vacation properties and rent them out when they aren’t in Hawaii.  It can be expensive.  I wanted to have an ocean view.  If you are comfortable with having a roommate then the rent would be cheaper.  Many of the travel nurses I met were traveling in pairs.

Another option is a hotel.  Most of the hotels are expensive in Hilo.  I stayed at the Hilo Naniloa Hotel.  It was gorgeous.  I had the most beautiful ocean view and the mountain view is gorgeous.  I loved it.  If I could have afforded it, I would have stayed there but I wouldn’t have been making any money.  I got a discount but it still was too expensive.  It was $100 per night.  There were other hotels that were a tad bit cheaper but this was close to the hospital.  There were also bed and breakfast hotels.

Another option is a hostel.  It was really cheap.  I found one for about $30 per night.  I’ve never tried a hostel and decided against it.  I just need my own space.

There is also a work housing option.  It was only $23 per night.  You just had to work for 1-2 hours a day in the garden.

Housing and transportation are the biggest items for a travel nurse.  My agency doesn’t pay for the housing or the transportation. I had to rent a room for my last month because it was cheaper than anything else that I found.


Set aside some money for adventures.  If you live in Hilo, most of the tourist things are on the other side of the island.  It takes about an hour and a half to get to Kona from Hilo.

You have to fly to the other islands.

There are so many things to do on the Big Island.  I went horseback riding, hiking, para-sailing, Segway tour, zip lining, whale watching and a lava tour.  There are so many beaches to go to.  Some of the waterfalls can only be seen after a long hike.

I can’t wait to go back!!

Sometimes I Just Need A Reminder

Recently I had a conversation with my landlord that reminded me of who I am.

It was 3 days before I was to leave Hawaii.  The landlord told me about a woman that had rented the room after me.  She cancelled the room which she was supposed to rent for a whole month.  He told me the woman’s friend had cancelled at the last minute and she decided to cancel her trip.  The landlord had offered to take a few days off of work and show her around.  The woman had told him no and that she would be too anxious to be in Hawaii by herself.  The woman didn’t even ask for a refund.  She lost out on over a thousand dollars.

From that conversation, I realized how far I’ve come.  Two years ago, I was that woman.  I waited around for other people to go anywhere.  I was afraid to go in public by myself except for work and the grocery store.

For example, I was meeting my best friends at the mall.  I was the first one there.  I sat in the car until one of my friends got there.  I even called one of my best friends and talked to her until she got there and then I got out of the car.  I remember her asking me why I just didn’t get out of the car and wait for them in the mall.  I told her that other people would think that I didn’t have any friends.

Being scared to go places by myself led to me not having a vacation for 8 years.

My life coach even reminded me of how far I’ve come.  A year ago, one of my action steps was to go to an exercise class.  I had chose to go to an aerial silks class.  I had always wanted to try it.  I called my best friends and we were supposed to go to the class together.  Unfortunately, my friend ended up cancelling.  I thought about just sitting at home.  I had already paid for the class.  I asked myself why not go by myself.  I was so nervous while driving to the class.  I ended up going by myself and having a lot of fun.  That was a huge deal to me. The old Shavawn would have just sat at home, missed out on an opportunity, and wasted her money.  Now I go to exercise classes all the time by myself.

Now this doesn’t mean that I still don’t get scared to do things by myself.  I do.  I want to go on a cruise this June.  Not one of my friends are available to go with me.  I feel like I need to go on this cruise for so many reasons.  All the signs are there that I need to be there.  I am so nervous to go on this cruise.  I’m getting that excited nervous feeling.  My life coach reminded me that I went to Hawaii by myself and turned down the apartment that I had set up because it didn’t work for me.  I stayed in a hotel until I found an apartment a month later.  I did all of that.  So I’m going on a cruise this June by myself.  I don’t want to stand in my own way.  My destiny awaits.  I told my life coach, “I’m freaking out but I’m doing it any way.”

Sometimes I just need a reminder!