Over the weekend at work I got some negative reviews from a patient’s family.

I’m not going to lie, it hurt a little bit.  I went home feeling bad.  When I got home, I asked myself a question.

How come when I get a negative review it makes me feel bad?

At the current hospital most of the reviews have been positive.  The manager told me that she had been getting a lot of positive reviews from not only the staff but the patients.

So why am I only focused on the negative reviews that I got over the weekend?

I believe that those positive reviews helped to save my job.  After I failed the telemetry test, the hospital was supposed to cancel my contract but they didn’t.  Out of the 6 travelers at the hospital, only one of us passed the telemetry test.  They kept all of us.  Maybe they needed us really bad but I like to think that those positive reviews helped.

I also thought about a book that I had read.  It is called, “Happiness is a Choice” by Barry Neil Kaufman.  One of the things that stood out for me in this book, is the concept that at any given moment we choose which emotion to feel.  No one can make you angry, sad, hurt, or happy.  You have to choose to be those things.  In any situation, you can choose which emotions to feel.  I was choosing to be sad about the reviews.

When I woke up, my mind wanted to replay the previous day and what I could have done better.  I decided I didn’t want to do that.  It wasn’t helping my mood and I just didn’t want to start my day like that.  I also didn’t get a lot of sleep that night.

I put on some music that always gets me happy.  I decided that I was going to listen to music and sing all day and do some work.  It helped to keep me motivated to work.

I decided that every one is entitled to their opinion but I don’t have to accept whatever label they want to give me because of those opinions.  I know that over the weekend I was doing my best.  To some people that may not be enough but that is their opinion.

I also started to think of all the good reviews that I’ve gotten.  That outweighed the bad reviews over the weekend.  So the next time I get some negative reviews, I’m going to think of the positive reviews that I’ve gotten.  I will use the situation to help me to learn but I will not let it make me choose to be negative towards myself.  In the face of negative reviews, I’m now going to listen but I’m not going to take them personally.  Especially when I know I was doing my best.

I chose to be happy and to let the negativity go.  Listening to music and singing helped me to do just that.  This next song never fails to get me into a happy mood.

What song gets you happy?  Leave a comment and let me know.

I also checked myself.  I had noticed that I was being more judgmental of other people internally lately.  Maybe that patient’s family members were my mirror to show me what I was dong internally to other people.  I decided that I’m going to be more compassionate towards other people and stop being so critical of them.

I recently went electric skateboarding with my family.  We had so much fun.  At first they weren’t interested in doing it.

While we were skateboarding my dad stated that I should be a pro and I should be able to make the turns and go fast.

I thought about that for a while and came up with a metaphor.

I’m a pro so I go slow. 

I felt more comfortable going at a slower pace on the skateboard.  I wasn’t trying to race anyone.  I was enjoying myself.  When I go fast on the skateboard, I feel more nervous.  I couldn’t always make the turns on my skateboard, so I would stop and turn the skateboard by hand.  I knew my limits and didn’t try to stretch myself too much.

I could also use that metaphor for so many things in my life.

I’m not in a race with anyone in my life.  I do things at my own pace and when I want to do them.  There is nothing wrong with doing things at your own pace.  It may take you longer than someone else but you will still get to where you want to be.

For example, most of my friends are married or have kids.  I’m still not married and have no kids.  I decided that I’m not going to be in a relationship or have kids until I’m ready for it.  Right now, I’m taking my time.

My dad also asked me where I get my adventurous spirit from.  I didn’t have an answer for that.  I guess I’ve always been adventurous, I’m just now letting it out.  For a long time, I was content with being in the shadows of my life instead of stepping into the light.  I was content with just staying at home on my days off and not doing things by myself.  Now I love to try things.  Don’t get me wrong, I still love to be at home and be by myself.  I still love my alone time.

I’ve just learned that I have to stop comparing myself to other people.  Everything will happen when it’s supposed to happen.  Until it happens, I’ll try to be a pro and go slow.  I’m slowly learning my limits.  I’m learning what is comfortable for me and what is not.

What could you take slow in your life instead of trying to rush?

I also can apply this metaphor to reaching my dreams.  I learn so much from the process of reaching my dreams than when my dreams as actually realized.

The last time I was losing weight, I realized that it was a process.  I had already learned how to lose weight quickly but I never learned how to maintain that weight loss.  This last time, I realized that it was an every day process.  I couldn’t just do a fad diet for months if I wanted to maintain my weight loss.  I had to find a lifestyle that I could do every day.  I had to take it slow and learn to make better choices every day with the food that I put into my body.  I also learned that some dreams take time.  It took me months to lose 50 pounds.  It wasn’t an overnight process.  I went slow and lost the weight.