When and Where

I was just watching a webinar that my life coach, Karlee Fain, was doing.  It got me thinking.

At the end she said a quote my Albert Einstein.  To paraphrase the quote, it was saying that driven people believe that the universe is benevolent.

That got me to thinking about my life right now.  I’m starting a life coach business of my own right now.  I still haven’t gotten a client yet and I’m a little worried.  I would like to have my business thriving right now.

I also thought about another situation that happened in my life.

When I got out of RN school, I wanted to be a Labor and Delivery nurse.  For about 6 months, I only applied to Labor and Delivery nurse jobs.  In my dreams, at the time, I saw myself as a Med/Surg/Telemetry nurse.  When I gave in and started to apply for the med/surg and med/surg/telemetry jobs, I started to get interviews.  It took me a year and a half after graduating to get my first hospital job.  I knew that I was going to get a job as a med/surg/telemetry nurse, I just didn’t know where or when.  My job in that situation was to keep applying for jobs.  The Universe/God was going to determine when and where.

I can use that situation in my current situation.  I know that I’m meant to be some kind of teacher among so many other things.  My first client will come.  I just have to do the things that I need to do.

The Universe/God will take care of me and decide the when and where it will happen.

Until it happens, I’m going to try not to worry.  If my life has taught me anything, it is that I’m taken care of and guided.  Some how every thing works out.

I just needed to be reminded of that today.

Pictures

I was recently looking for a before picture of myself to put on my website.  Just to show how far that I’ve come.

I couldn’t find one.

In my mind, I could picture exactly which picture I wanted for my before picture.  It was a picture of my nephew and I.  He was about 5 months old at the time.  I remember the picture because I didn’t look so great in it.  When I first saw the photo all I could see was that I had a double chin, my skin was oily, and I had acne.  My nephew looked great.  He was smiling and having fun.

I do remember after my dad showed me the picture, I tried to hide it.  I think I eventually tore the picture up and threw it away.  Now when I picture that picture in my mind, I see my nephew and I having fun.  I realize now that I was focusing on the wrong things.

I thought about that for a while. I used to tear up the pictures of myself that I didn’t like.  I did that because the pictures showed me that I wasn’t beautiful to myself.  When I was bigger, I didn’t think I was beautiful. I thought my face was pretty but not beautiful. No matter if someone else called me pretty or beautiful, I didn’t feel that way about myself.  I didn’t like having my photo taken because I didn’t like the photos.

I recently booked a private photographer in Sydney, Australia and I’m so excited.  It was a big step for me.  The recent hair loss turned my world upside down for a while.

I feel beautiful inside and out now.

I just yesterday told some nurses my age.  They were shocked that I am 36 years old.  One of them said that I looked like I was 30 years old.  I took that as a compliment.  I would like to think that I look young because I’m radiating my love for myself from the inside out.

Now I know that I’m beautiful to myself even if no one ever told me that I was pretty or beautiful.

Now I’m ready for my picture to be taken and to share my smile with myself and the world!!