Living My Life on My Terms



I’ve recently had some people in my life tell me that I’m not living my life.  One person even told me that I’m in the exact same place that I was in 10 years ago.

It is their opinion since I’m not dating or in a relationship then I’m missing out on life.  To some people I’m not living because I’ve never been drunk or high.  To some people because I don’t have my own home then I’m not living my life.  To some people because I don’t have any kids then I’m not living my life.

At the end of the day, I don’t have to agree with their opinions or let their opinions change the way that I view or live my life.

I know that I am living my life.  I don’t have to be in a relationship, have kids, or be drunk to know that I’m living my life.  Only I get to choose whether I have any kids or get into a relationship.

I am in love with the life that I have now.

When I was working in the nursing home, the statement that I would hear a lot from the women was: “I was going to do something but then I had kids and life happened and I never got around to doing what I really wanted to do.”  “I wish I could have travelled the world, but…”  “I wish I could have lived on my own.”  “I wish I could have gone after my dreams.”

I always wondered what would have happened if they had not let things get in the way of their dreams.

I don’t want to end up saying any of those things when I get older.  I want to be able to say that I did what I wanted to do.

Every one has their own journey in life.  Every one has different lessons to learn in life.

I recently read an article about Tracee Ellis Ross who is living life on her terms.  She states that she often gets some people telling her that she just hasn’t met the right guy yet and that its never too late to have kids.  All of her accomplishments don’t mean anything to those people because she doesn’t have any kids or a husband to focus on.  She is selfish because she doesn’t want kids right now or she is failing at life because of her status.  She has won a Golden Globe and yet to some people that just isn’t enough.

She goes on the say that she is going to live her life on her own terms and not be controlled by the expectations of others.  She is going to be the brave Tracee.

I can completely understand what she is saying.

I tried to live my life on other people’s terms for 30 years.  I was never happy.  I was told that if I lived my life how other people wanted me to live then I would be happy.  If I got a house, dog, kids, a good career, a husband, or just a boyfriend then I would be happy.  Thankfully the Universe had other plans for my life.

I recently had a friend say that if she had a daughter, she wouldn’t want her daughter to live a life like mine.  I was hurt for a second and then I let it go.  I was tempted in that second to list the things that I have done and the things that I’m doing now.  I was proud of myself for not doing that.  At the end of the day, her opinion of my life will not change my opinion of my life. If I had a daughter and she lived the life that I’m living, then I would be proud of her.

In my opinion, I am a beautiful, strong, badass, and powerful woman.  I dare to live my life on my own terms.  I am in love with the life that I have built.  I dare to go after my dreams and to be myself.  I love myself.  My life has meaning.  Three years ago, I would not have said any of those things about myself.  To some people I live a very blessed life and to some other people I don’t.  Success and happiness are defined differently by different people.

A woman doesn’t have to have kids or have a husband to live her best life.  Oprah Winfrey is the perfect example of this.  She isn’t married to her boyfriend and she has no kids And she is living her best life.

I commit to living life on my own terms.  I commit to being the Brave Shavawn.









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