I Still Amaze Myself

Last week, I did something so simple but it still amazed me while I was doing it.

I was going to Tijuana with a friend.  I got there early.

The Shavawn of 5 years ago would have just waited in the car until her friend showed up.  She was insecure about other people thinking that she had no friends.

Instead of sitting in the car, I saw a dollar tree.  I wanted to go window shopping.  On the way to the dollar tree, I saw that there was an outlet mall across the street.  I chose to go to the outlet mall and window shop.  I enjoyed myself.

It was something that was so simply but at the same time it wasn’t.  I was thinking while I was window shopping how hard this would have been for me a couple of years ago.  I used to hate to do things by myself.

Now I’m a travel nurse traveling around the US by herself and enjoying it.

A couple of weeks, ago a drug company came to the hospital and brought us lunch.  I ended up taking the salsa home.  I was going to put it in a salad or my tortilla.  I found myself really happy and dancing in the kitchen when I was using the salsa.  I was just happy to be using the salsa.  I used to dance like that before I ate the doughnuts and cakes that I used to eat.  Now I get happy and excited to eat healthy foods.

My parents have a garden and I love when the tomatoes are ready.  I can actually tell the difference between home grown tomatoes and store bought tomatoes.  I love the home grown tomatoes.

If you had of told me 5 years ago that I would enjoy eating vegetables and fruits, I would have called you a liar.  Back then, I loved my doughnuts and cakes.  That’s why I ate them for breakfast, lunch, and dinner at times.

I hope I never get out of this phase where the little things like this still amaze me.

Sometimes you just need a reminder of how far you’ve come.

It’s so easy to get caught up in what’s next.  With my life coach, I check off a goal every 2 weeks and then I’m on to the next goal.  Sometimes I forget how much I’ve actually done.

I remember when speaking in public used to be a big deal to me.  It still scares me but I know that I can do it.  I did an open mic night at a club.

Just recently I was trying to write my biography.  I was having a hard time listing the things that I’ve done.  It felt like I was bragging.  It isn’t bragging to list the things that you’ve done.  It may actually encourage some one to know that you did something that scared you.

Almost every time that I’m scared to do something, I think of the things that I have already done.  I went skydiving, did an open mic night, got my certification to be a life coach, lived in Hawaii for 6 months, beat my eating disorder, started a blog, and so much more.

So next time you get scared or sad, just think of some of the things that you have done throughout your life.  I’m pretty sure that you may be amazed also, just like I was.


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