Timelines

I recently had someone tell me that I’m almost 40 and I need to put down some roots somewhere.

I’m so glad I have a life coach.  I sent her an email about the situation and she reminded me of something.

I don’t need to live my life how anyone else wants me to live my life.

I did that for about 30 years and it never worked for me.

I feel like society and some people around me have a time line for my life.  At 40, I should be married with kids, living in a nice house, and have a career.

I have found out that you can plan your life in a certain way but life doesn’t always go as you plan it sometimes.

When I was in my early twenties, I didn’t know what I wanted to do in college.  At the time, all I wanted to do was get married and start having kids.  I wanted to be a stay at home mom.  I wanted to be married right out of high school.  I could have cared less about going to college and getting a degree.  I was trying to force relationships with guys that I knew wouldn’t last.  I eventually had to give up on that idea and start thinking about what I wanted to do in my life.  To be honest, if I had of gotten married in college, I would have probably dropped out of college.  The first 2 years of college, I didn’t see the point because I didn’t have a major and didn’t know what I wanted my career to be.  After the third year started and no proposals, I had to decide on a career.

I do know that I wouldn’t be where I am right now if I had of stuck to that plan.

Being a nurse has helped me tremendously in my life.  I am glad that I chose to become a nurse.

Like my life coach says, its ok to have a plan but its also ok to be open to changes.  God/Universe will work things out and sometimes it doesn’t look like what we planned.

For example, last year I wanted to take some time off but I also wanted to extend at the hospital that I was at.  I was scared that I wouldn’t be able to extend because I wanted to take a vacation.  I decided to try anyway.  I asked for a week off after my assignment ended and then I would work for 4 weeks and take another week off after that.  My contract was accepted.  So now that has become my norm.  After I work the first 3 months, I take off a week every four weeks.  That way I can go somewhere for a week or just stay at home.  My mood has improved because I know that I have a vacation coming after working four weeks.  When I started travel nursing, I never imagined that I could take so many vacations.  Some travel nurses work for 6 months and then take 6 months off.  Some take a month off in between every assignment.  I didn’t know that was possible until I became a travel nurse and started talking to other travel nurses.

To some people around me that life style isn’t good enough.  A woman approaching 40 should have a house, she should be on her way to being married with kids, and have a stable career.

Right now I don’t know if I want to settle down somewhere.  I like being a travel nurse because I can take a vacation when ever I want to.  As a permanent staff nurse, I would have to build up enough PTO to take a vacation and I have to have it approved before I purchase anything for a vacation.  I remember at my one of my permanent jobs, administration would tell us not to book anything for a vacation until the time off was approved.  Even if we saw a great price on a plane ticket don’t purchase it because the time off might not be approved.  For example about 6 years ago, a nurse that I knew was planning her wedding, and she had enough PTO saved up to take a month off.  She only wanted 2 weeks off.  The floor was so short staffed that she was only approved for one week off.  The hospital gave her the week off for her honeymoon but not her wedding week.  That nurse ended up having to postpone her wedding.  Some hospitals are so short staffed that they aren’t able to give the nurses the time off that the nurses request.

Have you ever felt like you weren’t meeting your time line or some one else’s time line for your life?

Every thing happens when its supposed to happen.

I needed to take some time off from dating and get to know myself and love myself.  There was nothing wrong with that.

I’ve learned that every one has a different path in life and also a different time line for their life.  Some people get married in their twenties.  Some people get married in their sixties.  Some people have children and some don’t.  Some people become a millionaire and some don’t.  Some people own their own business and some don’t.

Just because a person isn’t where some one else wants them to be in their life doesn’t mean that the person isn’t on the right path for them.

As a woman I do feel pressure from my family and society to be married and have kids.  Especially since I’m in my late thirties.  Some of my patients ask me why I’m not married yet.  Some of them even try to hook me up with their sons or another family member.  Some patients tell me not to settle and that its ok to wait to be married and have kids.  I will get married but in my own time.

Every one has their own dreams and goals in life.  I’m working towards a life that I love and in my own time.

I read this quote recently, “Be not afraid of growing slowly, be afraid only of standing still.” – Chinese Proverb.

Just one more quote that I love from Steve Jobs.  “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.  Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking.  Don’t let the noise of others opinions drown out your own inner voice.  And most importantly have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.”

 

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