I was recently eating breakfast in the kitchen and I had the TV on.  I looked out the back doors and spotted a lizard on table outside.  It was just crawling around.  It was making me uncomfortable.  Lizards are like snakes with legs to me.

I then did something that I have never done before.

I closed my eyes and imagined that I was speaking to the lizard in my mind.  I told the lizard that it had every right to be there.  It wasn’t doing any thing wrong.  I was just uncomfortable.  I asked the lizard if it could please move and come back in about 10 minutes when I was done eating.  I opened my eyes and the lizard was gone.  I don’t know if my exercise had anything to do with it.

About a week later, while I was talking on the phone, I looked out the window and saw 2 lizards on the neighbor’s house.  They were big and hard to miss.  I then couldn’t look out the window while I was on the phone because I couldn’t stand to see the lizards.  I was becoming uncomfortable looking at them crawl around on the house.  Every time I walked near the window I could see them.

I thought about those 2 situations for a while.

I had a realization that those situations are linked to alopecia.

I think this is why some woman feel like they have to wear a wig, topper, hair fibers, scarves, or head bands.  Alopecia makes the woman diagnosed with it uncomfortable at times and it also makes other people uncomfortable too at times.  I realize that some people may think that a bald woman has cancer.  In the past when I saw a bald women I would assume that she had cancer or that she just wanted to have a bald head.  I had heard of alopecia but I didn’t know how many woman it affected.  As I’ve learned when you assume things you make an ass out of you and me.

A woman has the right to be bald or have thinning hair. She also has the right to tattoo her bald spot or bald head if she chooses.

That can make some people uncomfortable.

I realize that it is not my job to be in charge of other people’s emotions. 

I am only in charge of my emotions.  I can think of a number of reasons that other people might be uncomfortable with me.  One reason can be that I’m a woman and another could be the color of my skin.

I can’t go through life afraid to be who I am because someone else might be uncomfortable with me. 

If a woman chooses to not hide her alopecia then she has the right to do it.  And the next time I see a lizard I will try to not be uncomfortable.  Every animal has a message if the person is willing to learn.


The message that I took away from this is to focus on my dreams.  Which in all honesty I haven’t been doing lately.

While I was talking to my life coach on the phone, a deer appeared in her yard.  I see deer a lot when I’m hiking.


The message I took from this is to be gentle with my self.  I can start to focus on my dreams and not beat myself up about slacking off recently.

So the next time you see something that makes you uncomfortable, ask yourself why is it making you uncomfortable?  Does the situation have a lesson to teach you?  Is the situation asking you to take some kind of action?

In the end, I’m going to continue to be myself and not hide that.  I have the right to show or not to show my bald spot.  I get to make that choice.  Any woman with alopecia gets to make that choice all on her own.  It is not their responsibility to be in charge of other’s emotions.

Alopecians have the right to do what they choose to do, just like the lizard has the right to be outside and do what lizards do.

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