The Nurse Practitioner

I had just gotten my first job working as an RN in a hospital back in 2011.  It was a very stressful job but it taught me so much.  When I became the charge nurse, it got even more stressful.  I lived an hour away from the job.  I had to wake up at 4 am and leave my house by 5:15 am to make it to work on time.  I would never have time to take a lunch break.  I would eat 2 small sausage biscuits before I left the house.  The biscuits were the frozen ones from the grocery store.  During my 12 hour shift, and sometimes 16 hour shifts, I would have 2 packs of graham crackers and some apple juice.  When I was driving home, I would feel like I was going to pass out.  I was so sleepy and tired.  Sometimes I would have to stop on the side of the road and take some deep breaths to keep myself awake.  I would also have to drink a Coke to help myself stay awake.  I was getting worried that I would harm myself or someone else on the road.  Some days I would get home from work and think to myself, if it wasn’t for the grace of God I wouldn’t be here.  I would be in the car driving, slapping myself, singing at the top of my lungs, and dancing to stay awake.  I always had the air conditioner on.  It was snowing one time and I had the AC on.  So I went to the doctor because I wanted to see if there was anything wrong with me.  I got an appointment with the nurse practitioner instead.  She did a complete physical and took some blood.  She surprised me by asking me if I took my lunch break.  I told her no.  Most days I just worked through my lunch break.  Some times I wouldn’t eat for 9 hours.  Some days I didn’t even take a bathroom break until my shift was over.  I told her what I ate.  She told me that I wasn’t eating enough to keep a baby alive.  She was the only one in the medical field that stressed the importance of eating healthy and taking care of yourself.  If any one else had asked me what I was eating, I would have told them.  I didn’t tell her what I ate on my days off because she only asked what I was eating at work.  If she had of asked I would have told her that I was eating doughnuts almost every day when I was off.  I knew that wasn’t helping me feel any better.  That was contributing to my tiredness at work and while at home.  It would still take me a couple more years to get help for my eating disorder.

2 comments

  1. Margret · February 5, 2016

    Thank you for sharing your journey. Be good to yourself and take good care of yourself. If you don’t, you wont be able take good care of others. You are loved so much by so many

    Like

    • girlyrenee · February 5, 2016

      Thanks for reading my blog. I got a life coach and she is helping me to take care of myself. I’m taking it one day at a time. Thanks for the support and love.

      Like

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