Hello Shavawn!!

super_nurse[1]Hello Shavawn!!  I love you.  For the past year and a half, I’ve been working on myself.  While at first I was scared of changing, now I feel like I’m finally stepping into the woman that I was meant to be.  I stepping into the woman that I saw in my dreams.  The changes that I’ve done feel so natural.  Now I laugh at myself when I think of how scared I used to be to change and really get to know myself.  For the last 10 years, I’ve felt a pull from God to help people and to share what I was learning.  I used to be scared to do that.  I was scared of what other people would say or think.  Now the thought of helping even one person outweighs that fear of what some other people will say or think.  I didn’t even know that I would have a blog or taking care of myself like I am.  One of the many reasons that I wanted to change myself was my future husband.  I didn’t want him to find me waiting on him to make me happy.  That’s a huge burden to put on anybody else’s shoulders.  Only I am responsible for my happiness.  I wanted him to find me being happy all by myself.  I wanted him to find me having a full life.  I want my husband to add to my happiness.  I used to be scared to do things by myself.  When my friends and I made plans to meet, if I was the first one there, I would sit in the car until one of them showed up.  I was scared to sit in public by myself because I was afraid that other people would think that I had no friends.  Now I’ve gone para-sailing, hot air ballooning, and went on a swamp tour all by myself.  I didn’t even care that I was alone.  It made me proud of myself to be doing fun things by myself.  Someone recently told me they were envious of me because I was really living my life.  I told her that she could have adventures just like I was having.  I just had to make little small changes and that led to even bigger changes.  Yes I had help from my guardian angel, Karlee Fain.  I recently read a book called “The Power Of No.”  One of the lines really helped me.  “When you start to dip your toes into your personal honesty, your family might stop speaking to you.  Some of your friends might also stop speaking to you.  Some of your colleagues might avoid you.  This is a good sign because it means you are transforming yourself into who you really are, and in turn your personal network/tribe/community will shift and transform.”  I’ve personally experienced this.  Even though my ex best friend stopped speaking to me, I still feel like I’m becoming who I was always meant to be.  That statement encouraged me.  I can finally say to myself, hello Shavawn!!  I love you!!  I wouldn’t trade this feeling for anything.

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