What Happens When You Get Quiet?

super_nurse[1]Magic happens when I get quiet and think about my life.  I just had a thought.  One of the reasons that I had an eating disorder is because I wanted to be full so that I would not have to feel the emotions that I was feeling at that time.  I didn’t want to feel sad, depressed, alone, or disappointed.  I was disappointed because my life wasn’t where I wanted it to be at that time.  I was sad because my health wasn’t good.  I was obese and on my way to cardiac disease.  I felt alone and I was depressed.  So I turned to food to feel that void.  It never worked because I couldn’t eat every minute of the day.  The feelings would eventually creep back in when I was finished binging on the food.  I had all these dreams and I didn’t know how to make them reality.  I knew I needed to change.  I thought that just losing weight would help but in my soul I knew I needed more.  I needed a lifestyle change.  I reached out for help and now my dreams are my reality.  I’ve learned to listen to myself and God.  When I sit and get quiet, I can get answers to my questions.  When I get quiet, I can get centered with God.  I get inspiration for blog posts through getting quiet at times.  Some blog posts are inspiration from conversations that I have.  I’m in the process of creating a tribe for myself.  A tribe that will inspire me and motivate you.  I realize that I need people around me who are motivating and inspiring.  I don’t need anybody in my life who makes me feel bad about myself.  I don’t wear makeup and I probably won’t.  If I have to wear makeup to go out with you then I will not have you in my life.  I love to talk about my dreams, past lives, third eyes, and other people’s dreams.  To some people that is weird but that is just me.  When I’m stressed and not taking care of myself then my magic is lost.  I’ve learned to slow down and not to worry.  Now things are coming together so easily now.  When I first moved to Hawaii, I didn’t like the apartment that I had originally chose.  It wasn’t near the water and it didn’t have air conditioning.  So I broke the lease and stayed in the hotel.  The old Shavawn would have just stayed in the hot apartment for 5 months.  The new Shavawn knew that that wasn’t the place that I was supposed to be.  The hotel upgraded me to an ocean view room with a big discount.  I loved the view.  The apartment that I eventually got was destined for me.  I had passed this complex while going to zip line and I told myself that I was going to live in that complex.  I didn’t know anything about this complex.  The complex has a library, pool, gym and maid services.  The signs were all there.  The number of the apartment has a meaning to my future husband and even the parking space number has a meaning to my future husband and I.  I even got the apartment cheaper than advertised.  When I leave things up to God, magic always happens.  I’ve always been a loner and it works for me now.  I don’t see it as a bad thing.  I have very few friends and I’m ok with that.  My friends are the best.  So if I call a person a friend then they are special to me.  I’ve learned to use my magic to manifest what I want and what I need.  If you don’t believe me then just watch.  My future is amazing and I can’t wait to show what I’ve been working on to the world. “I’ve got the magic in me” -B.O.B.

 

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