Last weekend was the worst weekend that I have ever had in my nursing career. I had one patient who had been very verbally abusive towards everyone and sometimes the patient would get physically abusive. Unfortunately if was my turn to take care of him. It turned out to be a blessing in disguise! I looked at how other people were reacting to the patient. I didn’t want to yell at the patient or show that I was really frustrated with the patient. I thought of how the patient feels and I started to have compassion for the patient. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t put myself in a situation where I would get verbally or physically abused. When the patient started to get verbally abusive, I walked out of the room. I have the right not to be verbally abused. I kept myself positive. I sang songs in my mind that kept me happy. I thought of different blog post that I was working on. I thought of going hiking. When I got off, I listened to some music. That helps me to calm down.
I reminded myself that I can only control my emotions.
I get to choose how I react to the patient. I didn’t want to react to him in a negative way. Yes I was frustrated inside but I decided that I was not going to allow the patient’s negativity to decide my emotions. I had another patient that was actively dying. Unfortunately, because of the other patient’s actions I wasn’t able to spend as much time as I wanted to with the dying patient and the patient’s family. Right at shift change, another one of my patients pushed the code blue light and everyone came running to the patient’s room. The patient had Alzheimers. The patient got very confused and thought the nurses were in the patient’s bedroom. The patient got violent. We were able to calm the patient down eventually. Overnight the patient hit a nurse and cornered the nurse inside the room with a walker.
The very next day, the verbally abusive patient was nice to me. The patient said thank you and talked to me. I was shocked. The patient still had outbursts with other staff members, but to me, the patient was nice. I actually had a pretty good shift. Maybe the patient could feel that I had compassion for him. Maybe the patient could feel my calm energy that I had. The Alzheimers patient was nice as well. I thought about what happened.
The way to change to world is to work on yourself.
Once I started to work on myself and love myself, all I wanted was to spread that happiness around. I wanted everyone to feel happy. My energy changed too. Misery really and truly loves company. Happiness is infectious. The compliment that I always get from people is that they love how I can keep my cool and my smile during stressful times. I can do that because I take care of myself. After the weekend, the next day that I had off I went hiking and spent time in nature. That helps get rid of my stress and makes me feel closer to God. I have tools that I use to keep my smile. I can’t help but think that if I had not started to work on myself and my issues then my parents would not be coming to Hawaii to visit me. It had always been my grandmother’s dream to go to Hawaii. I like to think that when she heard that I was becoming a nurse, that maybe she prayed that I would get to Hawaii. By me spreading my happiness and knowledge around that will help other people. It will cause a ripple effect. The people around me will be effected and then in turn spread happiness to the other people that they meet. I’m also helping my future in the process. There are people who are waiting on me to become the woman that I was meant to be.
This week in general has been hard. I feel like I’m being tested but I’m not failing. I will not fight fire with fire. I’ve learned not to post when I’m in my feelings. I’m still excited about my future. “I swear your opinion of me, will not make or break me”- Lil Wayne. I am the queen of signs. As I’m writing this a motivational song of my future came on.
What other people think of me or my future is none of my business.
No one has lived my life and seen all the signs that I have seen. People may not believe that I get supernatural help all the time. One of my guardian angels loves to write poetry. I can feel their help when I write. When I’m feeling lonely, I do the electric slide. I can feel that my guardian angels are dancing with me. It helps me not to feel lonely. One of my guardian angels likes to do word find puzzles. I can feel someone helping when I do them. I ask God for signs and he provides. I have always been guided. When I’m stressed out my energy is blocked. A few months ago, I was stressed out for 2 weeks. I couldn’t feel my supernatural beings around me. I was blocking their energy with my stress. I couldn’t even think of a blog post. When I got my stress levels under control, I could feel their energy again. I want to make this world a better place so that if I have to be reincarnated again it will be better for me. I don’t know what I’ll choose to be in my next life. My ultimate goal is to not to have to be reincarnated again. I want to ascend to the next level. I can only do that by learning and mastering the lessons that I have been sent here to learn. I feel like I’m on the right path. I’m going to make an explosion!! My power is turned up!! I’m setting waves into motion!!